i cant get to bed

i close my eyes,but sleep does not come,i cant seem to settle,not tonight.I have a song in my mind i hum the melody and conquer images of stories I’ve read,of bad vs. good,villains and heroes.Tonight though i have imagined something new,i could have sworn i heard the sound of wings taking flight,outside my bedroom window,straight up and out from the ground,into the darkening sky,but now i am doubtful.The clock reads 3;18am and now my head is filled with images of foreboding angels.This fallen angel i recognise he is the one who comes to mind when i think of angels,not the a traditional angelic beings with a halos,harps and wings,this one is of the gothic variety,which to me fits.I am a fanatic fan of all things gothic and romance,supernatural romance,being something i adore,so this angelic apparition i fear is just my imagination in overdrive.He is the collective of all the things i look for in a hero from such books,he is tall,olive skinned,chiselled delicate features,black soft hair,he wears a crucifix,silver one,it is if i recall correctly,the same necklace i saw one Christmas,after seeing the third lord of the rings movie,this creature I’ve conquered up would be right at home in such a fantisiful world.

i don’t often dream,but this one was vivid,it started off with me walking downtown,i look up to see a cloud of angels hanging over my head,the faceless silhouettes around me do not notice,time has stopped for me,this world moves on,I’m captured in a moment in time,cars are passing by beneath my feet,i now stand on the edge of a high-rise,looking down at all around me,i look up to see there is a symphony of angels all singing above me and i become hypnotized by the beauty of the sound,the greatest song in the world,yet when i awake i forget how it went,i now feel jack blacks frustration,still this storey is my tribute.i end this part of my dream,i step off the edge and much like the blockbuster film inception,i awake from that dream and wake in another dream,where i met my mysterious angel,i sit bolt upright in my bed,well i cant say I’m very imaginative,my room is exactly the same as it is at this moment,you’d have thought id at least put in a flat screen,or have thought of somewhere else,and entire world at my disposal,rainforests and cityscapes,mountains,oceans,and i pick my room,even my dream self isn’t onto of her chores.my iPod headset still in my ears,i often fall asleep to podcasts or indie music,and it seems I’m the same in my dreams,only now my dream self realises,I’m being watched,there is a angel on the fire escape,staring back at me,rain and condensation make his face blurred,his wings are pitch black,the moonlight catches the silver of what i must conclude are his feathers,the texture of which i am now curious about,music still playing,my mind clears,i try to move to find the bed sheets around me are gathered around me like static waves,and now i am sinking,my bed has become like quicksand,i reach out towards the window,my angel does nothing he just sits perched outside my window sill looking in.I awaken this time for real,cursing my evil angel,even in my dreams it seems my perfect hero,wont be getting a medal of honour anytime soon.

i think ill stick to vampires,werewolves,zombies,wizards,and shape shifters for any future dreams.It seems angels are just not for me.



~ by wingstruck on December 9, 2010.

One Response to “i cant get to bed”

  1. restlessness is the sign of the mind’s unwillingness to forfeit to the endless explorability of the world. as i frequently experience. ☼

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